Oh my good lord what a mental day, non feckin' stop. And it pissed with rain all day and I got soaked, twice.... fantastic. I managed to get myself to the diabetic shrink this morning and spilled out the whole tale of woe for the last 2 weeks, she's so concerned I'm on the verge of pure madness she wants to see me again next month instead of in 3 - whoopee, check out my bad self, I'm extra crazy now! Is there any wonder with all this shit? I've got my first dose of the new antidepressant and I have swallowed it, I have serious reservations as to whether it'll make a crap's worth of difference but hey ho, we'll give it a whirl.
Then of course it was onto the introduction to self help bollocks down at the mental health team HQ, unusual group of suspects down there, tried to be friendly and upbeat, make mates, y'know. Sat next to a nice girl who I think was gay, but then again I got called male so maybe I have grown a dick, shouldn't make assumptions, bad girl. I signed up for one about beating the 'black dog' as I may as well make an effort to try beat this spiral of hopelessness off, what do I have to lose? My sanity maybe, but that buggered off years ago.
Then I went and sorted out my meds at my new pharmacy, which I might add are wonderful compared to the last shower of pure shit, no more monthly arguments - yay! Anyway, they gave me a whole 2 bags of a month of meds, I have more drugs than a mofo and I'm going to enjoy getting blasted on every one I can, reality doesn't appeal to me right now so bugger it, going to get wasted as I possibly can for as long as I can.... there's the truth, not pretty in print but those are the facts, Caroline gonna get f*cked up!
I bought a hair trimmer, going to keep it short now it's this length because I love it like this, so easy to care for and I like the style, mother will have to deal with people thinking I'm a lesbian, ha! In fact I may play up to it just to piss her prejudice off.... gay and f*cked off my face on prescription meds, sounds like a plan!!!
(Disclaimer: Acting out today because I'm in a bit of a state, I don't normally behave so stupidly do I? Just all getting too much weight to bear again, I'll be good tomorrow, honest)
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